okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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