You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
