Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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