dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
