if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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