she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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