the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
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