At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
