So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
