I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
