when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
