Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
