I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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