Don't you send me to vm
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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