farters have to be the big spoon...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
