I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
