He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
