that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
