is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
