I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
