Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
