Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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