If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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