my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
