you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
