Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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