I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I could make wine with my vomit
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
