I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize