i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
