South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
