dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
