question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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