Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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