Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
