Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
