i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
