i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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