He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
