I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I can't turn off my feet"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
