Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
