i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
