Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
