I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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