Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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