somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
