Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
