ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize