did you get engaged???
actually, I'm a sock model
kristin has been a bad kristin
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
