# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
