ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
