he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Ketchup is God's man juice
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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