I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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