dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
