i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
