I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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