She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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