READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Randomize